The reason I fight
by mortal-paralight
Summary: Related to the Twilight Role Play! After her time spent being Stefan's shield, Bella has been feeling unworthy of being in Edward's company. What was her reason to fight during all of that time? Why did she put up with Stefan's tyrany? Now we know. Please Read and Review. This was designed for a contest but I want to see how it goes. Help by A Single Star because she played Edward.


**The reason I fight**

**Bella's Point of View  
**

They say each scar tells a tale. Sadly, it isn't the case in this situation. ALL of them tell one tale, period. And, sadly, it's a hellish tale. But let me ask you a question before you hear my horrific tale. Have you ever felt owned—and not in the sense where someone tells a horrible line and they say 'you just got owned!'—and you felt that there was no way you could escape?

If you have, then welcome to my world.

In the last three months of my life, my world had been radically changed for the worst. To protect my family, I had to give myself to a superior being and do his biding. But to do so meant to throw away all of my beliefs and to push away the ones I love... or loved in this case. Yes, that's right. When being sent away, my family pushed me aside like a plate of grist, saying that what I did was foolish. It wasn't. It was supposed to be a sign of love, that I couldn't let this man hurt any member of the Cullen family. I suppose they didn't see it the same way that my mind did.

The only person that supported me, that called me whenever he could, was my husband, Edward. Talking to him was my only moment of sanity while being away.

But, you see, not only is my aggressor Romanian but he was also a king—at least in his eyes. His name is Stefan and he seeks only revenge against one clan: The Volturi. This coven known as the Volturi is considered the high kings of the vampire world. Many decades ago, Stefan was overthrown by the Volturi, along with his companion Vladimir, and was sent into exile.

All these years, Stefan has only been after one thing: to reclaim his throne. But he couldn't fight and win on his own, which is where I come in.

You see, Stefan had been trying to recruit my husband and his two siblings, Alice and Jasper, because of their gifts. But… to be used in such a way, I couldn't bear to let that happen to them, which is the sole reason why I became a slave to the Romanians. And so, I had, in a way, made a deal with the devil. In order to spare my family this suffering of losing three sons and daughters, I gave myself freely to him to Stefan so that he could use my shield to his benefits. He wanted to use my shield to save himself from others' powers, letting me feel all of the pain instead of him.

You might be wondering why I suffered through everything that he made me feel, why I kept fighting through this.

I'll show you through one of my experiences with Stefan.

I can still remember that specifically horrible task he asked me to perform for him...

_It had been a few days since I had left Forks to search for gifted vampires. Along the way, my thirst had grown to the point where my eyes became black orbs. Stefan hadn't been too pleased with my weak state and he brought me to a secluded area, leaving for a few seconds before returning with a bloody hiker, throwing him in front of me. Stefan stood beside me, watching me intently as my gaze went down at the dead human in front of me. But my eyes only showed disgust and horror when looking down at this dead and mangled body. Just looking at this man, his eyes looking vacant and horrified, reminded me so much of my father. The thought of even hurting Charlie was monstrous and unfathomable. Stefan couldn't make me do this._

"_What are you waiting for? We have many vampires to search for and we don't need this predicament delaying us. So start drinking and let us get back to our search," Stefan ordered, his voice impatient and demanding, making my skin crawl. Whenever Stefan was impatient, he resorted to violence to accomplish the tasks._

_Shaking my head, Stefan growled in annoyance and, at lightning speed, grabbed my neck and pushed me down on the ground, making me struggle under his hold. Stefan's growl died and he simply regarded me with an intense frustration and annoyance towards my actions. "This pathetic act of yours has lasted quite long enough. You will drink and you will do as I say, no questions asked. Do you understand me, you weak morsel of a vampire?" Stefan asked; his voice calm and collected, indicating that he was very irritated. _

"_Please… Please don't make me do this… Can't I just hunt—"_

_Sadly, my sentence was interrupted when Stefan growled and bent his head down, sinking his teeth into my neck ravenously and kept his teeth embedded in my body, making me cry out unintentionally in pain. His venom began coursing through my veins painfully and made my body shake horrendously. After a few seconds that felt like an eternity of anguish, he removed his teeth from my neck. But he didn't leave that part of my body alone for long. Shortly after, he gripped my neck with his hand tightly, squeezing it so hard that it began cracking under the pressure._

"_I gave you an order, weakling. Either you will perform the act on your own or you will force my hand. And you have chosen the latter." Stefan grabbed the human from behind him, forced my mouth open and pushed the human's neck against my teeth, forcing my teeth to embed the skin and let the blood flow through me. My eyes widened as Stefan loosened his grip on my neck and the blood kept flowing down. I never wanted to admit this but the blood tasted so good… It was like Heaven on Earth that, without thinking, I began drinking the blood, making Stefan smirk at my hunger._

_When the body was completely drained, my heart felt shattered. I had just given up on that one belief I wanted to keep. Now, my teeth had actually sunk into human flesh—forcefully, mind you, but that doesn't matter to anyone. The deed had been done. My eyes must have a slight red tint to them by now. _

_Stefan chucked the lifeless body away and glanced into my eyes dangerously. Without another word, he stood up, glaring down at me. I had thought that this would be the end of his anger for today but I had been completely wrong. Stefan bent down at lightning speed, grabbed my collar roughly and lifted me to my feet, biting into my open wound once more and injecting more venom into my system, forcing me to emit a cry of agony once more from my mouth. After a few seconds, he threw me aside just as he had done to the body and glared down at me. _

"That_ was for disobeying an order. If you know what's good for you, you will learn to not do this again." And with that, he walked away, back to his brother in arms and left me on the floor, just inches away from the body I had just drained. _

_My body kept shaking for hours on end, upsetting Stefan once more but this time, he didn't utter a word. Vladimir didn't touch me the entire time we were together, which I was thankful for, but he could not contain his comrade's violent rampage._

In that simple instant, he made me change my beliefs and added another scar to my now disfigured and atrocious body. Throughout our time together, Stefan had given me more scars on my body than I could count. As of now, my arms, legs, shoulders _and_ neck were covered in various bite marks and scars.

Today, after three months of looking at myself and staying with that aggressor, I had finally returned to the Cullen house and restarted my life with my husband. To this day, I wonder sometimes why I kept fighting back against Stefan. Why not simply give in to his demands and become the slave he had wanted me to remain?

Right now, I was standing in the bathroom, my eyes never leaving my mirrored disfigured self. A simple tank top and plain jeans were the only clothing I was wearing for the time being. One of my jackets was lying against the bathroom counter, close enough to my hand that in a matter of seconds, I could place it on myself and walk away with barely any skin showing. I just kept staring at my reflection in the mirror, my eyes roaming the various scars protruding from my body. It was horrifying and gruesome… Stefan had destroyed the one thing that I could give Edward as a vampire: beauty. With being a vampire, your personal traits were amplified and enhanced, which meant that my human plain Jane features had been enhanced and had given me a beauty that made Edward proud to see every day. Now, he didn't even have that anymore… Along with the horrible scars on my body, my eyes were red from the amount of feedings Stefan enforced on me. He'd also destroyed my tolerance for animal blood; the one thing the Cullens honored most of all in their coven.

This man took everything from me… My reason to stay strong and stick to my diet during my time away, the small traits of beauty that I had, my gentle and quiet nature… everything!

Smashing my hands on the bathroom counter, a _crack _was heard. Moving my hand slowly upwards, where my hands were laying moments ago, two large holes were now dented into the counter. Sighing, I realized that I would have to pay Esme back for the ruined counter.

"Bella?" a sweet angelic voice said, making my heart fall in sadness. My angel opened the door seconds after I placed my jacket on and zipped it to the top of my neck, hiding any skin or scars from his view. His eyes scanned me and looked down at the two holes I made in the counter. My beautiful angel's golden eyes fell on me at last and a small frown came to his eyes. "What's going on?"

"Nothing Edward… It's nothing," was my simple answer, trying to sound nonchalant about the situation.

Edward walked over to me and stood behind me, placing his hands softly on my shoulders. At least there was some piece of fabric between his hands and my skin. "Please Bella, talk to me. What's wrong…?" Edward asked softly but sadly, running his hands softly up and down my arms.

There was no use in hiding this from him. He would find out eventually. Sighing, I closed my eyes and bowed my head slowly. "Just thinking about everything Stefan made me do… What he's given me…" I replied, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice. "What he destroyed…" We had been over this conversation a few times but it was still very hard to stop all of these thoughts from entering my mind. For months, maybe even years, I had been trying to tell myself that Edward liked the new me, that he still liked me for me. But now, with Stefan and his anger, I didn't feel that way anymore. I couldn't believe that Edward wanted what he saw. In times like this, I believed that Edward could do so much better than this repulsive girl he touched.

But he was always there to change my perspective of things for the better.

Edward sighed and moved his hands slowly and seductively down my arms, moving his hands along my body before resting them on the zip of my jacket. While moving his lips against my neck, he began unzipping my jacket slowly, moving his fingertips along my skin. Closing my eyes, a slight shiver ran through my body as my wonderful husband began removing my jacket slowly, throwing it onto the floor when he was done.

I didn't want to open my eyes when he finally removed my jacket. I didn't want to see the look in his eyes as he looked over my mangled body. "Open your eyes, love…" It wasn't so much of a command as a small request. And it was a request that I couldn't refuse, especially from Edward. When opening my eyes, they saw Edward smiling his grin and looking me in the mirror with a look of love and passion. "Do you know what I see when I look at you?" Shaking my head, his eyes glinted with happiness and he began speaking again. "I see, a woman who would do anything for the ones she loves, thick minded as they may be sometimes." A small chuckle ran through me as he said those words. "I see, a woman who remains strong through dire times. I see a woman whose beauty still shines through these sexy scars. And I see the woman that holds beauty, smarts, love and kindness, even through these scars." Edward began kissing the scars on my shoulders softly, making my skin tingle wherever his lips touched them. "I see the woman I fell in love with, and am still in love with, forever in always. I wouldn't change the woman I see in the mirror for anything in the world because deep down, there is nothing that can change the way I feel for this brave and courageous woman."

Looking him in the eyes, there was only one message that was portrayed in them. And that message was _I love you_.

You wonder why I kept fighting through those horrendous times with Stefan. But now you know.

The reason I fight is to stay with the man I love. The reason I fight is to come back to him and stay in his arms, happy and in love.

The reason I fight is for Edward. I fight for his love and to stay with him for eternity.


End file.
